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Can you imagine it?
Ten whole days without a phone, without speaking to anyone,
completely cut off from the outside world, with only your own inner dialogue.
It isn't a personal-growth camp, and it isn't some mysterious religion.
It's a 10-day Vipassana course — a practice in silence.
Why I went
In middle age, something changed inside me.
I got angry easily with the people closest to me, felt dissatisfied with life, and was often low.
I knew it wasn't right, and a voice inside kept telling me: I have to change.
I'd originally thought about trying a short stay as a monk at a temple, but a friend recommended a 10-day Vipassana course instead, and that's how I first learned about it.
I'd actually signed up twice before, but cancelled both times because something came up. This time I was determined not to cancel — whatever it took, I'd keep those ten days for myself.
I'm so glad I made that decision, because it completely changed my life.
What is Vipassana?
Vipassana is a Pali word meaning “to see clearly” or “insight.” It's a form of meditation in which you observe the reality of your own body and mind, leading to a purified mind and inner freedom.
It's the method the Buddha used 2,500 years ago when he attained enlightenment and was freed from suffering.
The technique was later lost in India, where Buddhism began, but was preserved in Myanmar for generations. Eventually S. N. Goenka brought it back to India and spread it around the world; today there are Vipassana centers everywhere.
Mr. Goenka passed away in 2013, so the course recordings were all made during his lifetime.
Although Vipassana comes from Buddhism, the course doesn't teach Buddhist doctrine; people of any religion can learn it.
What happens on the course
Students check in by 5 p.m. the day before the course starts. At check-in you hand over your phone, computer, books and writing materials; none of these can come in with you.
At the center you observe “noble silence”: no talking to anyone, and no eye contact, gestures or physical contact. You may speak only to ask the teacher questions or to ask the course manager for practical help.
Noble silence ends on the morning of day ten. On the morning of day eleven, after breakfast and cleaning, you can leave the center at about 8:30.
Every day you get up at 4 a.m. and go to bed at 9:30 p.m., with about ten hours of sitting meditation in between. In the evening there's an hour or so of instruction on the technique, from Goenka's recorded talks.
Basically, apart from eating, sleeping and bathing, you're meditating.
The course is completely free, and the volunteers and teachers serve without pay.
New students may donate only after the course ends, any amount they wish. Everything we used was funded by previous students' donations, so it's suggested you give what you can to the next student, so they have the chance to attend too.
Three things Vipassana taught me
All my problems came from me
Ten days without a phone sounds hard. But I already limit myself to under half an hour a day on social media, so once I'd handed off my work, being without a phone was actually a relief.
As for not talking — I'm not very social anyway, so silence wasn't hard for me.
Without any outside distractions, I experienced a depth of inner dialogue I'd never had before, and reviewed my whole life several times over.
How did the things that happened to me affect me? Which relationships and experiences shaped the way I think now?
I looked back and asked why I'd come into conflict with people, why I'd argued with them.
Whenever I thought of the people I'd fought with and hurt, tears would start without my noticing. This played out every single day of the ten.
The course tells a story: when a friend visits and brings you a gift, you can decline it and give it back. So when someone brings you their anger, you don't have to accept it; you can hand that “gift” back.
On day eight, it finally clicked. I'd always thought an argument was both people's problem. After Vipassana, I realized that every argument I'd had was my own problem — I'd chosen to respond with a fight.
Realizing the problem lay with me made me happy. If it's all my problem, it's easy to solve,
because I can't change other people, but I can change myself.
Don't judge what happens — just observe it as it is
Vipassana mainly teaches you to observe your breath and scan your body. Through these practices you build awareness and concentration, reduce anxiety and emotional turmoil, return to inner calm, and learn to accept impermanence and let go of attachment.
It lets us hit the brakes when emotions arrive. Emotions are neither good nor bad. Whether it's happiness, sadness, craving or hatred, you meet it with equanimity — no judging, no reacting.
The Buddha taught that the mind works through four processes: cognition, perception, sensation and reaction.
1. Cognition: an event is received.
2. Perception: the event is recognized and evaluated.
3. Sensation: after that, a sensation arises. As long as you don't judge the event, the feeling stays neutral.
4. Reaction: we crave pleasant sensations and want them to last, and want to get rid of unpleasant ones at once. This becomes a habitual reaction.
The key is to meet the event with equanimity at the “sensation” stage, without judging it.
For example, sitting cross-legged for long periods makes your legs ache badly. In Vipassana, you observe that pain as “just pain,” not “my pain.” You pay attention to it with equanimity, without judging the sensation or hating it.
When we hold equanimity, craving and aversion are the same; emotions dissolve, and everything passes.
In the film Inside Out, there's a character called Sadness, who handles gloom and sorrow.
At first I also saw her as a negative, unwanted character. Only at the end did I realize that every emotion has its reason to exist.
“Men are disturbed not by things, but by the views which they take of them.” — Epictetus
Emotions aren't good or bad; we're the ones who put labels on them.
We're used to ignoring our sensations
Can observing your breath and scanning your body really put the brakes on emotions? Is it that magical?
It's because, over years, we've built habitual reactions to our sensations, so we often react without noticing the sensation at all.
Much of the time we react with anger first, and only then realize we feel angry.
The body reacts, and only afterwards does the mind fill in the feeling — “what just happened to me?” — and then the emotion arises.
The problem is that we don't notice the sensation; we unconsciously judge the event and react out of habit.
When a habit becomes a reflex, it's very hard to notice what we're feeling.
Vipassana trains insight into your own body, so you notice even the subtlest change right away.
It's like driving: habit is the accelerator, and Vipassana is your brake.
Living by habit is like keeping your foot on the gas. Vipassana helps you notice the emotion and tap the brake, interrupting the habit.
When something happens, the body changes subtly — a sign an emotion is arising — and in that moment I can brake.
With practice, you notice your emotions quickly and can eventually uproot old habits.
How I changed afterwards
A week after the retreat, my emotions are much steadier, and I see the world differently.
Before, when something unpleasant happened, I'd silently curse people in my head. It's not that I never do it now, but when it starts, I notice: “Ah, the old habit of aversion is back,” and I hit the brakes straight away.
One day I asked the teacher: “If someone insults me, should I meet them with equanimity too?”
“The person who insults is also a victim — drowned in anger. We should have compassion for them,” the teacher replied.
When we can empathize with the other person and feel compassion for them, we no longer want to fight, because they're a victim too.
Since learning Vipassana, I've become more empathetic, calmer and more at peace.
Of course, ten days of Vipassana doesn't mean you never need to practice again.
Like going to the gym, the effect lasts only if you build the habit. If you want Vipassana to carry into your daily life, you have to keep practicing.
So after the course, the center recommends two hours of meditation a day — one in the morning and one in the evening — and returning for a 10-day course once a year.
Vipassana has given me more awareness in daily life and more command of my emotions. I've become calmer and more peaceful.
If you feel stuck in your life, low or emotionally unsteady,
I sincerely recommend a 10-day Vipassana course. It may change your life completely.
